Latest Posts

  • Football

    Stop The Flares! FFA proposes to swap children detained in Nauru with A-League troublemakers

    Shoot Farken can exclusively reveal that Football Federation Australia (FFA) has approached the Federal Government, namely the Department of Immigration and Border Protection, in a desperate bid to finally rid the A-League of the dreaded flare lighting element. Yesterday afternoon, FFA CEO David Gallop paid an urgent visit to Canberra to meet with the Minister for Immigration and Border Protection, Peter Dutton. ...

    On February 10, 2016 / By
  • Pop Culture

    Would you like some prophecy with your coffee? An excerpt from the novel GRIND by Ed Vukovic

    We are proud to present an excerpt from Grind, the recently published novel by Shoot Farken alumni Ed Vukovic. Grind is available as a Kindle edition and it can be purchased via Amazon. A brief description of Grind by the author Ziva’s love of coffee is double-edged; by ‘reading’ coffee, Ziva predicts the future with chilling accuracy, but always as a service ...

    On February 2, 2016 / By
  • Pop Culture

    Remembering David Bowie: I am still not very sure he is at all dead

    The way David Bowie left us last week was in keeping with his way of life; graceful, uncompromising and shrouded in mystery. Very few knew he was ill, let alone dying. So when it happened it was like having the wind knocked out of one whilst an essential organ was simultaneously removed. I, like many others, hoped it was a hoax. Through ...

    On January 22, 2016 / By
  • Pop Culture

    I went to see Taylor Swift and she was great – but us “Wogs” do it better

    I was never a Taylor Swift fan. Me? A fan of Taylor? Pfft, please. I’m 30 years old! In the words of Cher Horowitz, as IF. Recently, though, I found myself at one of her sold-out Melbourne concerts. So how did I get to this point? Last year, my husband Igor and I were on a long-haul flight back to the motherland when I began to peruse the in-flight entertainment, as you do. Decisions, ...

    On January 15, 2016 / By
  • Pop Culture

    RIP Lemmy: Last of the Wildmen

    One of the last wildmen of the rock ‘n’ roll frontier is gone. He packed up his four-stringed axe, smoked a final fag, downed a quart of poison and kicked down the door to Valhalla, all to the strains of his band’s garage rawk rendition of Louie Louie. Motörhead singer and bass player Lemmy Kilmister might have been killed by death but ...

    On December 29, 2015 / By
  • Football

    A Season at Le Havre: The Story of Harry Novillo the Hare and Riyad Mahrez the Tortoise

    Harry Novillo woke up bleary-eyed on a fine, early summer morning in Melbourne. He switched on the television, then walked into the kitchen to make his bowl of café au lait. The sounds of a football match being played half-way across the world on Monday night, in the unremarkable English city of Leicester, filled his apartment. Bowl of milky coffee in hand, ...

    On December 18, 2015 / By
  • Pop Culture 1

    Zwarte Piet: Coming Face to Blackface with a problematic Dutch tradition

    Once a year, my parents would take my brother and I to Adelaide to visit our relatives. Often we would stay at my father’s parents. Early in the mornings, when we were four or five, we would run in to my grandparents’ bedroom and jump onto their bed. Each morning while we stayed there, my grandfather would tell war stories about his ...

    On December 3, 2015 / By
  • Australian Rules 2

    The Shoot Farken Guide to naming and shaming Australia’s Sporting Hooligans

    On September 12, 1885, the Fitzroy Football Club (merged with the Brisbane Bears to become Brisbane Lions in 1997) hosted the South Melbourne Football Club (Sydney Swans since 1982) in a VFA (Victorian Football Association) match at the Brunswick Street Oval. Seven thousand people were in attendance. What follows is the report of court case resulting from disturbances during and after the ...

    On November 27, 2015 / By
  • Football 1

    No Amor for the new King of the Pissants

    Ser Gio Syrio was not the type of man to let circumstances affect his performance. He approached his duties as a knight of the Pissantguard with vigour, regardless of whether the battle appeared favourable or grim. But even he could not deny the pallor that had set over the Southern Kingdom since the sudden, shocking demise of King Josep. The warning his ...

    On November 19, 2015 / By
  • Football

    Clogball: Remembering the Dutch football clubs of Australia

    If you think the Dutch have never won a World Cup you’re mistaken: Holland won a World Cup back in the 1950s. Huh? More than 1.25 million European immigrants poured into Australia in the late 1940s and 1950s, including 100,000 from the Netherlands. Football was a major way for the different migrant communities to express themselves: by the late 1950s several Italian, ...

    On November 12, 2015 / By
  • Football

    The Red and Black Bloc Massacre

    The big day had arrived. It was stinkingly hot. The mercury had brushed 40c earlier in the day in Sydney’s West. RBB (Red and Black Bloc) stalwart, Rob, hopped out of his car. He found himself in unfamiliar territory. He checked with his phone to make sure he was near the right place. The starting point of the RBB’s march to Garbage ...

    On November 6, 2015 / By
  • Football

    The Sincere and Sexy Football of Eduard Malofeev’s Dinamo Minsk

    As a child, some things leave a bigger impression on you than others. These things often go on to become a template for how you measure and view other things that come in their wake. These early impressions can shape and colour our views all the way into adulthood, possibly staying with us for the rest of our lives as some sort of ideal against which all else ...

    On October 28, 2015 / By
  • Football

    No Pyro, No Party! My journey into the secret world of flaming hot smoking orange chuckable things

    Tribune of Troof journalist Peter Rofl with a Shoot Farken EXCLUSIVE. “Stop the boats!” We hear you cry. But alas there is a greater menace lurking in the very midst of our beings, ready to shake our civility to its very apple core, rotten as a worm burrowing its way to the heart of our Great and Good Society. “THEY will never ...

    On October 22, 2015 / By
  • Football

    If you build it, they will come: Turning Hindmarsh Stadium into a Field of Dreams

    In the movie Field of Dreams, a farmer played by Kevin Costner hears a voice say “build it and he will come”. For some odd reason he decides that this means he should rip out his cornfields and make a baseball diamond in their place. Fast forward a bit and he gets visited by some ghosts and things get a bit weird… ...

    On October 15, 2015 / By
  • Football

    Dutch Football by the dunes: Escaping carnival chaos to watch Quick Boys

    I took the bus from Leiden to Katwijk. Crowds filled the streets: amusement rides, fried food stalls, donut stalls, games machines, a ferris wheel filled the sides of roads. The Dutch had defeated the Spanish in 1574, keeping them out of Leiden and ending the 80 years war. For their efforts the people of Leiden were awarded a University by the King. ...

    On October 7, 2015 / By
  • Football

    The song your A-League club should walk out to this season

    Last week, Perth Glory CEO Peter Filopoulos jumped on social media and asked fans to suggest a tune for the team to walk out to on home match days. Many suggestions were forthcoming, including from football hipsters who were quick on the draw to plump for Perth indie pop zeitgeist darlings Tame Impala. I spent a few seconds pondering this pop cultural ...

    On October 6, 2015 / By
  • Football

    How Melbourne Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Soccer (well almost)

    “Perhaps only in Melbourne does a brooding, hidebound and monolithic structure of feeling dominate, where other codes are sometimes humoured and usually dismissed as inferior.”  – Dr Ian Syson, academic and sports historian. Not many cities in the world can claim to have invented a football code, a code that becomes intrinsic to a city’s cultural and political life. This happened in Melbourne, and ...

    On September 18, 2015 / By
  • Australian Rules

    Blacks and “Blacked-Up Whites” v Whites: The story of the strangest game of footy ever played

    On Monday, June 11, 1900, Melbourne’s The Argus newspaper reported that a charity match was “played  between 20 representatives of the Healesville Aboriginal Station and a team selected from the Moreland Club at the Coburg Recreation reserve on Saturday afternoon.” Athas Zafiris investigated further and uncovered how six white players had to “black up” to play for and Aboriginal team because of ...

    On September 4, 2015 / By
  • Pop Culture

    Guerrilla Tactics: How PWG lost their stars to WWE but still kept their mojo

    In November 2013, I wrote for Shoot Farken about Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, a small professional wrestling promotion based Reseda, California. PWG has a reputation for providing some of the most insane in-ring action you’ll find in North America, backed up by the terrific atmosphere provided by the crowd. Even UFC champion Ronda Rousey and Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara have recently checked out ...

    On August 21, 2015 / By
  • Pop Culture

    Beat the Champ: Unmasking the connection between Rock ‘n’ Roll and Wrestling

    In his autobiography, Bob Dylan told a story about how professional wrestler Gorgeous George once came through his hometown of Hibbing, Minnesota, and happened to see the young Robert Zimmerman playing a show. It was a revelatory moment for the young folk singer. “He didn’t break stride, but he looked at me, eyes flashing with moonshine. He winked and seemed to mouth the phrase, ‘You’re making it come alive’,” Dylan recalled in his ...

    On August 19, 2015 / By